he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
