i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
