shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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