He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
