I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
