I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
