woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
