I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
