And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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