Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
