Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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