There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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