He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
