addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
This house was built for laser tag.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
not ubering you a puppy
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
