I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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