I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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