I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
