just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
