I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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