Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have already put on my inside pants.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
