spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
