I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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