Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
