No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We need a shit load of segways right now
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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