So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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