what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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