we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
