Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
