My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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