I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
