More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This house was built for laser tag.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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