A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize