our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
