dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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