just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
