The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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