he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
