Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
