If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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