sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
