I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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