Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
someone owes me an orgasm
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
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