Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
