Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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