I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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