I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
