Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
