you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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