i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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