Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
