Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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