I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
