I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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