Sry I called you an 8
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
