I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
