I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
