Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
