She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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