so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
