guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
