I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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