If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
